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OSTRICHES
THE OSTRICHES
I feel surprised how poets can think of
the beauty of a flower or a girl
and don't brood on the essence of this life
that passes like a dream of summer's night.
How can a man enjoy a petals' charm
when days like little friends cover his eyes?
He opens them to find himself too old
and scarcely laughs to mock the end of life.
What is the aim of what you live and do?
Is there a purpose which can please your heart?
Or just you help your friends through trivial verse
to keep your eyes blindfolded to the truth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
I feel surprised how poets can think of
the beauty of a flower or a girl
and don't brood on the essence of this life
that passes like a dream of summer's night.
How can a man enjoy a petals' charm
when days like little friends cover his eyes?
He opens them to find himself too old
and scarcely laughs to mock the end of life.
What is the aim of what you live and do?
Is there a purpose which can please your heart?
Or just you help your friends through trivial verse
to keep your eyes blindfolded to the truth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Published 7th Mar 2020
| Edited 9th Mar 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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8th Mar 2020 7:21pm
In regards to your poem, L1 - ending with 'of' is weak enjambment; I suggest moving it to L2. I think the rest is excellent poetry; not trivial in the least in regards to philosophical questions asked. The rhyme is strong and message clear.
In regards to the philosophy: while some indeed have their heads in the sand, they are very happy there. Being each person evolves in their own way and time, it's up to those who recognize such to recognize such without judgment. Because if one isn't currently there, then I can guarantee you that at some point they were. We all come from the same place; we all experience ( eventually ) the same thing; and we all end up at the same place despite what road of experience we are traveling.
In regards to the philosophy: while some indeed have their heads in the sand, they are very happy there. Being each person evolves in their own way and time, it's up to those who recognize such to recognize such without judgment. Because if one isn't currently there, then I can guarantee you that at some point they were. We all come from the same place; we all experience ( eventually ) the same thing; and we all end up at the same place despite what road of experience we are traveling.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
8th Mar 2020 8:46pm
<< post removed >>
9th Mar 2020 8:33am
Dear Ahavati,
1- l can't place OF in the second line because l damage the rhythm if l do.
2- In this poem, l mean to say that poets sometimes write about unimportant subjects and leave the important ones untouched.
Thank you very much, Ahavati, for your interest.
1- l can't place OF in the second line because l damage the rhythm if l do.
2- In this poem, l mean to say that poets sometimes write about unimportant subjects and leave the important ones untouched.
Thank you very much, Ahavati, for your interest.
9th Mar 2020 8:43am
Dear Skyblue,
Thank you very much for your very kind help. Please, can you tell me which rhythm are you talking about: iamb, trochee, anapest, or dactyle. Thank you again for your interest.
Thank you very much for your very kind help. Please, can you tell me which rhythm are you talking about: iamb, trochee, anapest, or dactyle. Thank you again for your interest.
23rd Apr 2020 10:20am
23rd Apr 2020 11:26am
