“Coming Out”

Hello and welcome to the site. This is a candid write, has a feeling that is very personal about it, and I thank you for sharing with us. 💖

Thanks for taking the time to enter my thoughts...

This was great. Every line made the poem amazing to me.
From school bell's rings; children are excitedly coming out.  
Baby birds chirp letting mother know they are coming out
An inmate on release day; a grateful coming out.

That showed a lot to me. Those three changed.  

You then switched to how you don't and combine it together to where I could see them.  
I know the main point was about sexuality but the truth is even coming out about your sexuality is good. It's a change for the better no matter what others think.

The last 3 were such a great ending

Parents and lovers fighting, children left traumatized and afraid of coming out of their room.
Good people doing wrong, coming out of their insecurities  
Or enslaved forever by fear and people's perceptions; thus never coming out.


My dad was not a very good fathers he was abusive both physically and mentally.  He made me question my worth. He isn't a bad man just lost but the truth is it is still hard to forgive and forget. I'm starting to grow out of my shell. I don't want to be alone.

Work on your structure as it might not resonate with some but the message is amazing. Just make it yours.

Greetings,
Thanks for taking the time to enter my thoughts... I appreciate what the piece offers you and what your perspective offers me. In this piece I attempted to capture the array of emotions and mannerisms used by people to "come out", your reflection has caused me to see the piece in a new light and for that I am truly grateful!! Be well and thanks again!!

I'm glad I helped. The look of it wasn't pretty but I don't judge that. I always try to find the message first. Might have been unintentional but very well written anyway.

Greetings,
When you say the look of it wasn't pretty, are you talking about the way it is displayed; structured? I am a novice and this is my 1st attempt at ever sharing my thoughts with whom ever will read it. I am thankful for the critique and will make future modifications and then maybe I will present it in the organic fashion that it was initially written. Not attempting to do anything except bless those that are blessed by its intentions, if that makes any sense. Nevertheless, thanks so much for taking the time out for little ole me!!

I try to separate my thought from my stanzas. They can all be just like each other but the message can't be the exact same. Your 2 stanzas were the 2 I said. Everything else is up to you. You have light and darkness. Maybe write about the middle part.

Greetings,
Ok thanks for that. I will keep that with me when I pen my next piece.. Again thanks for the positive vibes!!

You score big bonus points for originality and great use of repetition.

Greetings,
Thanks for taking the time to enter my thoughts.
I appreciate your comment. I am a novice by all means and I am looking to not fall into a structure or be held by the so called rules.... if that makes any sense...
I just want to organically write and allow my words to bless those that appreciate its intention... Again thanks for the cudos and I look forward to reading your pieces soon.

Makes all the sense in the world; you have a bright future in poetry and writing ahead.

Greetings,
That means a lot to me. I have contemplated sharing this with the universe and seeing what energies it brought back. I must say I am glad your feed back is good. Your works are awesome I truly appreciate your word play...Again thanks!

That is the best answer because if you can't feel other's emotion as well then you get nowhere. You have talent. You are perceptive like I. We write more than we need and it goes away from it's point but I have learned just to trust myself and try to listen to others. Sometimes it's hard when someone doesn't see your poem for what it truly is but you made someone happy. All that matters.

Greetings,
All that I ask the universe for in return for sharing my pieces is to guide those that will appreciate the organic intent and style of my writing, I am attempting to create a lane and stay in it, not at the expense of becoming better though! You were the 2nd to provide me feedback both appreciating the work as well as you offering up suggestions... I will be reading your pieces tonight...

Well I have like 20 poems lol. 1 of them is a song actually but I'm still learning. I just write what I feel and see.

Greetings,
That's my formula...write what I feel, when I feel it, how I feel it and why I want others to feel it... Going to read them all at some point this week!!

Wonderful write ... great cadence and flow ...

Greetings,
Thanks for taking the time to explore my thoughts... I am glad you appreciated the piece... And thanks again!!!

strong write, covering several factors of life.
Well done.