Untitled.......

 I wish I had the same amount of confidence in a
bright and beautiful future
as I do in the
dark and gaunt one
which always seems to
haunt and torment me
even though I know I create it
purely out fear and doubt,
it won't fucking dissipate
I can't find a way out
feel like I'm wired to worry and
be overly analytical and cynical
but everyday I do my best to reset
and assess my mental mess,
watching some negative ass thoughts
enter and evolve instantly
and telling myself
"you don't have to believe that"
and I attempt to replace those thoughts
with positive and realistic ones
like yea okay maybe everything will be fine and you can get through anything
life throws at you
and no you can't control everything
and no you can't escape eventual
traumatic and sad events but
you can surely control yourself
and how you react.