Disappear

I want to run away, I want to scream.
I want to cry and I want to break things.
Why does my heart hold onto things so tightly?
I want to stop obsessing over everything nightly.

I try to sleep the pain away, but it even haunts my dreams.
I want my heart to heal, but it's ripping at it's very seams.
I want to hit things, I just need some thinking space.
Why do I have to be stuck in this horrible place?

My mind breaks it all into little pieces.
I feel my self-esteem as it decreases.
How do I move on, let go, and try to forgive?
I don't want hate in my heart, I want to live.

I want to be blind, numb, and never care again.
I never even wanted these problems to begin.
I don't want to be here.
Can I just disappear?