Tell me why you want me to fall in love again.

"We just want you to be happy Vada"
Something I hate hearing.
You think that someones love is going to bring me joy?
You think that ones company will change everything?
You are WRONG.
I can give you my all,
I can find someone within 3 seconds.
I am beautiful,
But I am damaged.
You think that when I find this "person" those nightmares will go away?
No, They never will.
I'll kiss them and remember the haunting memory of the man that kissed me before bedtime and left me for another.
Came back in the morning and lied about being faithful.
When i'll make love i'll remember the time that my ex boyfriend sold me for forty bucks...
Just so he can buy some fucken drugs.
And when I get pregnant,
I'll remember the first time I was,
I'll live through that day of finding out that my "baby daddy" was cheating while i was still in the house. I'll remember when he beat me and told me to get rid of that damn thing that could have changed entire my life.
I'll remember all those little things,
that aren't so little.
So tell me one more time why I need to fall in love again.