deepundergroundpoetry.com
open mic harmonica solo
harmonica like a baby's wail
like a lonesome train on distant thunder tracks
then a woman mourning
or a man worked too hard and broke,
his sad drunk cry in a night of dark regret
and all his shoulda, wished he woulda
'fore his woman found some other lover and she gone
and then suddenly sweet like that lover's moan
like that honeyed love ache grinding up from deep under
then stomp and swing and blowing
hard into that high lonesome wind song, train song, love song,
rain song, that white water song blowing in groin deep and rushing up, rising hot like molten stone
and all that heart slammed down and rung out lung reverberating
and damn, that boy could play
like a lonesome train on distant thunder tracks
then a woman mourning
or a man worked too hard and broke,
his sad drunk cry in a night of dark regret
and all his shoulda, wished he woulda
'fore his woman found some other lover and she gone
and then suddenly sweet like that lover's moan
like that honeyed love ache grinding up from deep under
then stomp and swing and blowing
hard into that high lonesome wind song, train song, love song,
rain song, that white water song blowing in groin deep and rushing up, rising hot like molten stone
and all that heart slammed down and rung out lung reverberating
and damn, that boy could play
Published 25th Jan 2020
Author's Note
This guy came onstage with just his harmonica and blew into it with all his heart, and, like the poem says, he could really play.
The sound was just incredible.
The sound was just incredible.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
25th Jan 2020 7:38pm
Jav, this a wonderful memory rendered into word canvas.
I'm going to repost this without the word "like" ( and with a few slight mods ) because such is often a crutch in trying to equate things with one another or create metaphors when it isn't necessary.
"a baby's wail
a lonesome train on distant thunder tracks
then a woman mourning
or a man worked too hard and broke,
his sad drunk cry in a night of dark regret
and all his shoulda, wished he woulda
'fore his woman found some other lover and she gone
and then suddenly sweet, that lover's moan
that honeyed love ache grinding up from deep under
then stomp and swing and blowing
hard into that high lonesome wind song, train song, love song,
rain song, that white water song blowing in groin deep and rushing up, rising hot molten stone
and all that heart slammed down and rung out lung reverberating
and damn, that boy could play"
"moan" and "stone" punctuate this with rhyme splendidly!
And "rung out lung reverberating" ... whoa! Omg what a marvelously constructed phrase!
I'm going to repost this without the word "like" ( and with a few slight mods ) because such is often a crutch in trying to equate things with one another or create metaphors when it isn't necessary.
"a baby's wail
a lonesome train on distant thunder tracks
then a woman mourning
or a man worked too hard and broke,
his sad drunk cry in a night of dark regret
and all his shoulda, wished he woulda
'fore his woman found some other lover and she gone
and then suddenly sweet, that lover's moan
that honeyed love ache grinding up from deep under
then stomp and swing and blowing
hard into that high lonesome wind song, train song, love song,
rain song, that white water song blowing in groin deep and rushing up, rising hot molten stone
and all that heart slammed down and rung out lung reverberating
and damn, that boy could play"
"moan" and "stone" punctuate this with rhyme splendidly!
And "rung out lung reverberating" ... whoa! Omg what a marvelously constructed phrase!
I'm glad you like this poem and yeah, I see what you're saying. You've pointed that out before and though I've been conscious of it since, these kinds of habits are ingrained. I edit a lot -- I can edit a thing to death -- but it's hard to get those "likes" out. They just feel like part of the cadence I hear in my mind. I can read the your edited version, though, and see exactly what you mean.
Thanks so much for taking the time to critique.
You made my day.
Thanks so much for taking the time to critique.
You made my day.
25th Jan 2020 7:39pm
really liked this javelini..."rain song, that white water song blowing in groin deep and rushing up,"
so good you got that root, that nerve of it....loved it
so good you got that root, that nerve of it....loved it
25th Jan 2020 8:48pm
Thanks, nomoth. It's nice to hear.
That harmonica player could really made you feel it. He's an amazing talent.
That harmonica player could really made you feel it. He's an amazing talent.
25th Jan 2020 7:55pm
The rung lung sung.........
Excell depict of one of them sublime musical moments
Excell depict of one of them sublime musical moments
25th Jan 2020 8:50pm
