stranger danger

 
    when the mind and body aren't on one accord; when one's nerves are shot even as one shops in a grocery store; mind is like,"I've been here many times before" ; body's like," I want to drop to the floor...."  
 
 
 
  what is this? like my body isn't mine; and my mind goes off like a broken foggy alarm; nobody means me any actual harm; but my mind goes into an uncontrollable defense mode;  
 
 
 
   "these people either have a job to do or want food"; "these people could give two shits about you"; "these people are consumed in their own affairs as individuals"; my mind continues, "everywhere you go, it's all survival"  
 
 
  "sarcastic remarks, and inside "jokes"; eyes that stare like you're an obstacle in the way; these are the uninvited thoughts that creep into my brain waves;  
 
 
 
  my mind,"you'll never get use to this place"; this isn't how I actually want to think; "these people think you're a waste of space"; these thoughts aren't mine;  
 it's like I'm a human porcupine, turned inside out