What If

You told me many things.
So charming and so sweet.
I swear it made my spirit sing
And made my heart pick up a faster beat.
Then recently you disowned me.
You told me that you’d make sure no one found out about us
All to keep me free.
You said the relationship ending was a must
For you no longer felt innocuous
To the point of intoxication.
You said some things very notorious
As they were better kept in the past, no resurrection.
You made me hate myself
Just like your cousin had, the miserable little welt.
Then I started questioning, what if I had fucked you?
Would there still be something between us or would you still be with your new beau?
What if I had insisted we not be friends with benefits?
Would our friendship have stayed innocent?
What if I had just hung up when you told me the news?
Would it have halted any of the hurtful things that had flew?
Had you meant any of the things you had said only a couple nights before?
Or had that just been your lousy attempt to let you fuck me on that warehouse floor?
And then you tell me you want to still be friends, how pitiful is that?!
Would you still want only friendship if I weren’t so ugly and fat?
Or is it because I’m not lose?
That you for my first time was something I decided not to choose?
All I can say is that you fucked with the wrong woman.
You’ve given my dark side the opportunity to fully reawaken.
Now that you’ve gotten out of me, a fair amount of use.
Now, my dear, I think that it’s time to see how much of our remaining “friendship” I can abuse.