pale kisses (with respect to Louise Gluck)

Thank you BB.



hugs,
buddhakitty.

Thank you for participating, BK. And Good luck in the challenge!

Thanks.  Not really into contest, but thought subject matter was right, so what the hell-give it a shot this once.


hugs,
buddhakitty.

This is really nicely written. The structure and choice of wording are tight and very effective. The only thing I'd question is whether the "all" in "fallen all away" is necessary.

I do like the assonance and consonance between "fall" and "all"; the writing just seems more impactful without needing the extra word.

Many thanks for your thoughtful input gonzalo. If you read my other pieces you would find"pale kisses," to be entirely different.  Typically I am a meat poet. Whatever comes to mind gets put down as is. I respect everyone's writting style and their knowledge of writing, which I freely admit, surpasses mine.


with warm regards,
buddhakitty.

I can respect that. I noticed that and was a bit sidelined by how different this one was. I like your style, though; it's nice, and unfiltered, and authentic and the writing in this one, while different, is no exception.

Thank you gonezalo. Much appreciated.


respects,
buddhakitty.

Good work kittybud...
Here's wishing you best of luck in the comp...hugs you...Ely

Thank you Ely. Not thinking much about winning,  just having some fun.


furry hugs,
buddhakitty.

Don't forget that spring
is coming soon... everything will be renewed...and all will be OK...fuzzyhugs back to you kittybud...going back to the cushion for to see the subset...

The essence of The Drowned Children is loss, one of the most painful experienced by anyone with a child.  Glück's cool detachment addressing the reader ( in regards to children “have no judgment. So it is natural that they should drown.” ) is like a blast of cold air across the face, numbing the shock and horror momentarily.  The imagery in her poem is evocative, particularly the woolen scarves slowly descending behind them.  The image that conjures provides that wake-up shock ensuing the cool detachment. But my favorite part is the voice calling, “come home, come home” is silenced and  “lost in the waters, blue and permanent.”  That is the essence, Loss - permanence.

Your poem reflects that perfectly.  While there will be new growth - it will never be the same as it was.  It is permanent as the dried bones of leaves in winter.

Excellent entry, Kitts. Best of luck in the comp.

Thank you Ahvanti. I wasn't familiar with her work until I read , The Drowned Children." online. I understood her intent instantly. The rest was just random thoughts.


peace and furry hugs always,
buddhakitty.

Ouch - this is a depressive thought, but it's incredibly heartfelt. Loved your little poem, buddha :)

Thank you NB. The contest calls for depressive thought...lol. What a contest!



hugs,
buddhakitty.

Looks like you've got that covered, heh!