"I Do Not Want To Be In Love"

I said I was in love with you
You said that it was just a phase
Eight months later, I told you again
You told me it was just your absence and my caring
I want to believe you, with every fiber of my being
I trick my mind most days, into believing your words
Most nights, I cannot fool myself with these tricks
But with every love song, sappy poem, and kissing scene
I am reminded of you
Of the way you laugh
Of the way you smile
Of the way you sing to me
I do not want to be in love
So I push my feelings aside
I lock my thoughts of you in a box
I tell my heart to beat, but not for you
I do not want to be in love
Not with you
But I am