the gallows

this thing i keep tied
in the back of my mind
sometimes unwinds
and turns me blind

i say things
 that are out of my control
i do things
 to ease life’s mundane toll
but you’ll never know

intoxicated with negative feelings
void of emotion and any meaning
i may be silent but inside i’m screaming

yet you’re perplexed why i’m deaf
 to every word you’ve ever said
 you immediately got up and left
 once my life became a mess

voices that i hear
this whisper in my ear
it’s all so dire yet so clear

i’m at peace with this grief
no words left to speak
a meek forlorn shadow
of who i used to be

i’m unaware and unable to care
unafraid of the unknown
if everyone is really there
tell me why i feel so alone

i’m just a husk a living statue
a lifeless bust but may i ask you
because if every day has a dusk
 a living corpse lifeless to the touch
why everything absolute
 isn’t always just the right thing to do

let me through i paid my dues
so let me die because of you
i don’t care if you will cry because eventually
tears will dry and nobody will remember me
i will be forgotten in due time
merely just a fleeting memory

living an eternity of anonymity
suffering in the shadows
saving you from the pain you made
this time i can’t be saved
hanging in the gallows