deepundergroundpoetry.com
Come back little sister
My sweet friend
I'm glad you chose to stay
It's never good to just end
You're a loving mother
Even amongst queens you inspire
You can always lean on your brother
Never let a man make you feel
Like there is no hope
Or lose your will
You have been through hell
Tilt that chin back up
Be that confident woman I know so well
If you feel nothing else is true
The worlds at you back
I'll help defend i love you
I'm glad you chose to stay
It's never good to just end
You're a loving mother
Even amongst queens you inspire
You can always lean on your brother
Never let a man make you feel
Like there is no hope
Or lose your will
You have been through hell
Tilt that chin back up
Be that confident woman I know so well
If you feel nothing else is true
The worlds at you back
I'll help defend i love you
Published 10th Dec 2019
| Edited 22nd Dec 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 4
reads 409
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Dec 2019 6:41pm
This is a lovely poem of encouragement, Jiminex. I truly felt the genuine message and intent of this.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would offer the following nitpicks:
You['re] a loving mother
Or [ lose ] your will
woman [ i ] know so well
A couple of questions: Is there a reason you have eschewed apostrophes in this? Ill should be I'll, Im should be I'm, etc. It's curious because there is not one through the entire verse.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would offer the following nitpicks:
You['re] a loving mother
Or [ lose ] your will
woman [ i ] know so well
A couple of questions: Is there a reason you have eschewed apostrophes in this? Ill should be I'll, Im should be I'm, etc. It's curious because there is not one through the entire verse.
21st Dec 2019 6:42pm
21st Dec 2019 6:43pm
I see. Well, I hope you correct and print this out for your sister. I am sure she would love it framed on her wall as a reminder.
24th Dec 2019 11:34am
Read this amazing piece a lot of times. The content and the rhyme flows beautifully...!! pleez do comment/ review/ write your thoughts on my website & poems 2 thank you :)
