To remember why

I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to kiss this horrible life goodbye

I can't stand to live like this
Ever so empty within
Trying to remember when did it begin

Perhaps in grade school all alone
Feeling left out and never to fit
Never a moment of happiness, not even a bit

As I think about it... Maybe high school
Filled with growing adults; atleast they thought
Maybe all the times that I have fought

Could it be when I left for the war?
A battle not all my own
Maybe from this my feelings were grown

Pondering if it was a bad marriage
Not paying the bills: working my ass to the bone
Trying to do everything on my own

After deep thoughts of wondering why
Working on my wits to keep them on track
Thier can be only one reason why
It's all of the things I can't take back