This guilty feeling

I’ve been thinking a lot lately
Of why I should speak my words
I just can’t find the reason
everything’s just blurred
 
Unhealthy melancholy drills through my head
I’m tired and lonely, why do I feel this dread?
I’m surrounded by friends and family whom I love
And yet everything feels like the dying of a dove
 
I feel sick to the stomach of what I came to be
A neurotic self-indulgent in a world filled with glee
stuck inside a daydream or a nightmare of sorts
I’m watching myself limping, as I lock all the doors
 
I have all the things that should make a person happy
But why am I so caught up in my imaginary misery
Am I sick? Am I wrong? Oh what have I done,
To make living life feel like ten thousand suns?
 
As I silently lay down in the corner of my room
The thoughts keep shouting, as my darkness consumes
The very person who feels, the very person who knows
I’ve poisoned my mind with bloodied black crows
 
Please bring me back, just take me away
Pull me from this cycle, and lead me astray
Bring me to the light, or at least take away
This guilt I am feeling for living another day