deepundergroundpoetry.com
Trace of faith
A strangely configured character,
an introverted anomaly,
a living, breathing obscurity..
At times I don't know what to do with myself
that's when I float into the
gentle embrace of poetry and music.
A serene space,
my magnificently mellow multiverse
with a multitude of
majestic masterpieces
magnified by marijuana.
A place to rest my soul,
detachment from control,
no longer stuck
in a hopeless hell hole.
Emotive echoes
invoking certain moods,
filling the empty spaces
where there once wasn't
a trace of faith.
Words that woo you,
sounds that soothe you
helping to eradicate the lingering anxiety accompanied by a feeling of
unworthiness..
Gotta drop the extreme self criticism
It's causing me to make crucial decisions carelessly.
an introverted anomaly,
a living, breathing obscurity..
At times I don't know what to do with myself
that's when I float into the
gentle embrace of poetry and music.
A serene space,
my magnificently mellow multiverse
with a multitude of
majestic masterpieces
magnified by marijuana.
A place to rest my soul,
detachment from control,
no longer stuck
in a hopeless hell hole.
Emotive echoes
invoking certain moods,
filling the empty spaces
where there once wasn't
a trace of faith.
Words that woo you,
sounds that soothe you
helping to eradicate the lingering anxiety accompanied by a feeling of
unworthiness..
Gotta drop the extreme self criticism
It's causing me to make crucial decisions carelessly.
Published 19th Nov 2019
Author's Note
Repost of an older piece I posted about a year ago with minor edits
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
19th Nov 2019 11:41pm
21st Nov 2019 9:30pm
Thanks! I feel I used to go a lil too crazy with the alliteration haha
Appreciate you stopping by!
Appreciate you stopping by!
Anonymous
19th Nov 2019 11:57pm
Hey, Hunter! This has got so much flow - I just want to shut my brain off and go for a magic carpet ride.
A few suggestions for ya though -
"that's when I float into the
gentle embrace of poetry and music."
that's when I float into poetry
and music's gentle embrace"
I think this will help smooth out a wrinkle in the rhyming.
"Words that woo you,
sounds that soothe you"
"Words that woo,
sounds soothing you"
This merely dispenses with repativeness of more or less "small words"
"filling the empty spaces
where there once wasn't
a trace of faith."
"filling the empty spaces
never having had
traces of faith."
Just shoring up the rhyme using fewer words.
And you can drop the "Its" from the final line.
Glad to hear you are revising older work - keeps you exercised!
A few suggestions for ya though -
"that's when I float into the
gentle embrace of poetry and music."
that's when I float into poetry
and music's gentle embrace"
I think this will help smooth out a wrinkle in the rhyming.
"Words that woo you,
sounds that soothe you"
"Words that woo,
sounds soothing you"
This merely dispenses with repativeness of more or less "small words"
"filling the empty spaces
where there once wasn't
a trace of faith."
"filling the empty spaces
never having had
traces of faith."
Just shoring up the rhyme using fewer words.
And you can drop the "Its" from the final line.
Glad to hear you are revising older work - keeps you exercised!
21st Nov 2019 9:36pm
Thanks very much Johnny!
Appreciate your feedback and suggestions
which definitely help smooth things out
Yes this one was kind of a mess at first lol
it's interesting to see how my writing has evolved over the years when I look back over each piece, so so many things that can be corrected or made better though for sure
Thanks again!
Appreciate your feedback and suggestions
which definitely help smooth things out
Yes this one was kind of a mess at first lol
it's interesting to see how my writing has evolved over the years when I look back over each piece, so so many things that can be corrected or made better though for sure
Thanks again!
Anonymous
21st Nov 2019 9:37pm
Oh, yeah! I know the feeling well!
