Fools Gold

Give me back, I don’t belong to you
My body, mind and my soul has never been up for keeps
These lies that you conjured up in your mind may have showered me with false hopes and dreams
Captivated and intrigued my senses of believing that love is nothing more than a superficial feeling that can be obtained with kisses and touches
Have been proven to not be true
But now that I can feel the confusion circulating within my head…now that I can hear and speak
I am asking for me back

I made myself believe that you were my all
The last of the last the ending to my beginning
That key that I convinced myself would fit into this lock that has long turned bronze
Will never return to gold until I found a way to let you go.

You made me believe that the false gold that you placed within my hands would one day turn into gold
That you were the only one who would ever love me and want to be with me
And so you used me…and you abused me
Then told me you loved me, and to tread lightly
So I did…

I hung my head low, the floor became my best friend
My tears became my listeners, the mutes that would never fight for my freedom
But would fill me with nonsense
Poising my mind with words of the sinners that clothed themselves with the fabrics of the cloth
Doused themselves with the word that they did not believe in

Yet tell me  to just put on smile…you’ll get used to it
It’s not so bad…just pray about it…
It’ll get better

I sat in silence, became numb
Cold…

I couldn’t cry no more, I had nothing more to offer
You’d taken everything that you could possibly take
Except the clothes on my back

I got tired of you and everything that made you, you
Watched as my shadow pick up the pieces that had broken off  behind me.

Collections…

Thoughts that I felt were true
Questions…so many questions and answers
Have you ever looked in the mirror and found your own self lying to you?
Enter a mindset that the battle that you were told was not yours became the only option you now had outside of dying?

There were no peaceful moments, I fought for every second.
I told myself if I died right now I would know that I had fought for my life
The examiners would have stood back and seen my story from start to finish on my bare skin
The shell that you in fact had broken but could never retrieve the soul that lied within it.

Won the war….

I ask that you give me back…now
That you free me of the bondage that you have had over me all these years
So I can finally sleep.