the violence in my silence

they took her tongue
leaving a trail of blood on her
they tried to force her to speak
but that only made her feel weak

they told me to speak
but only silence welcomed me
i sat there hiding in my silence
not knowing that my quiet was violent

tear stains down my cheeks
feel like everyone is out to hurt me
smile smile smile for the camera
keep pretending and no one will ever know
the wish, dreams, and hopes you hold
life on pause and can't find the remote
no sense in giving me false hope

i cry until i feel myself choke
but no sound leaves my mouth while we are on the phone
these days I feel like I'm doing everything wrong
fighting my demons but there is no hope
they eat at my head
but im so good at pretend

you wouldn't be able to tell that i wish i was dead