deepundergroundpoetry.com
Problems and promises
Run
Keep me from your cotton skies,
fill my mouth with autumn,
hide silent in the forest
the twig is about to break
Wait
Let the oars float away,
stay still within your seat,
tremble fingers on deep water,
anger slips beneath our lake.
I'm sorry
Bind my hands too tight,
make my fists unfold.
Foundation on a bruise,
sunglasses for your lies.
I'm so sorry
Paper mache us our masks,
stretched thin on blue balloons,
we'll dress in Sunday best,
and forgive me my abuse.
Help me
Find the bars and fix them to my cage,
rage in every open bottle.
I am and I will always be so
let my feet find broken glass,
on every step I fail to take,
drench my shirt in stale pain,
but let my hollows fill again.
I promise
This time, I will change.
Come here.
Keep me from your cotton skies,
fill my mouth with autumn,
hide silent in the forest
the twig is about to break
Wait
Let the oars float away,
stay still within your seat,
tremble fingers on deep water,
anger slips beneath our lake.
I'm sorry
Bind my hands too tight,
make my fists unfold.
Foundation on a bruise,
sunglasses for your lies.
I'm so sorry
Paper mache us our masks,
stretched thin on blue balloons,
we'll dress in Sunday best,
and forgive me my abuse.
Help me
Find the bars and fix them to my cage,
rage in every open bottle.
I am and I will always be so
let my feet find broken glass,
on every step I fail to take,
drench my shirt in stale pain,
but let my hollows fill again.
I promise
This time, I will change.
Come here.
Published 13th Oct 2019
| Edited 28th Sep 2021
Author's Note
Modified for the comp
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 6
reads 526
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
13th Oct 2019 9:13pm
Wow. Each line is so revelatory and your ability with vivid and meaningful metaphor is prodigious. Terrific vulnerability in this write, it's soft meter, quite engaging.
13th Oct 2019 10:34pm
Thank you Daniel really pleased the metaphor's are working, I know I can lose readers in those woods.
14th Oct 2019 11:38am
I live in the woods my friend, it's comforting :)
I'm just starting to wander Your forest, apologies that I am slow, but I enjoy what has been read of You ...the mind tics, I dig it!!!
This Write indeed shows vulnerability, front/center ...emotive Writes always hook me, simple or in-depth...this was a nice even meter.
Your meter flow is consistent with how the rise and fall happens...thats just craft -Good Man!!!
I'm just starting to wander Your forest, apologies that I am slow, but I enjoy what has been read of You ...the mind tics, I dig it!!!
This Write indeed shows vulnerability, front/center ...emotive Writes always hook me, simple or in-depth...this was a nice even meter.
Your meter flow is consistent with how the rise and fall happens...thats just craft -Good Man!!!
thank very much for your kind response, very pleased you wandered into my forest
14th Oct 2019 2:50pm
This is dripping in ironic sarcasm and I love it. I recently wrote one of the same vein titled "Here's some flowers" from the perspective of an abusive narcissist. They will say and/or do anything to get you back under their control. And if they can't control you - they will attempt to control what others think of you. The only way to defeat them is completely ignoring them ( no matter what ) and standing strong in the truth. Because it will come out.
I volunteered for a domestic violence shelter for a decade, and it was pitiful ( particularly the children ) what these women and families suffered because of the mental disability of their father/husband. I was a victim myself from my first boyfriend in an era when police didn't involve themselves in domestic disputes back in the late 70's early 80's. Now it's completely different because of awareness. No one is exempt ( except the President of the United States apparently ).
Anyway, kick ass write, RL. They will say ANYTHING to get a woman back under their thumb.
I volunteered for a domestic violence shelter for a decade, and it was pitiful ( particularly the children ) what these women and families suffered because of the mental disability of their father/husband. I was a victim myself from my first boyfriend in an era when police didn't involve themselves in domestic disputes back in the late 70's early 80's. Now it's completely different because of awareness. No one is exempt ( except the President of the United States apparently ).
Anyway, kick ass write, RL. They will say ANYTHING to get a woman back under their thumb.
15th Oct 2019 00:07am
Thank you for the considered comments Ahavati, really pleased you called out the Irony, I was worried the end line would be misconstrued as a aww come here for a cuddle when it was ment to be controlling Come Here !
