deepundergroundpoetry.com
Just a Mess, In a Dress
Standing,
Blue eyes, empty veins,
Colored hair, dripping makeup,
A girl struggles to breath.
Walking,
Shaking limbs, broken heart,
Converse shoes, laces untied,
A girl struggles to find her way.
Waiting,
Chipped nail polish, tarnished ring,
Scars on her wrist, tears on her cheeks,
A girl struggles to function.
Running,
Wind blown hair, rosy cheeks,
Silent lips, internal screams,
A girl struggles to find sanity.
Standing,
Blue eyes, empty veins,
Colored hair, dripping makeup,
A girl struggles to breath.
Blue eyes, empty veins,
Colored hair, dripping makeup,
A girl struggles to breath.
Walking,
Shaking limbs, broken heart,
Converse shoes, laces untied,
A girl struggles to find her way.
Waiting,
Chipped nail polish, tarnished ring,
Scars on her wrist, tears on her cheeks,
A girl struggles to function.
Running,
Wind blown hair, rosy cheeks,
Silent lips, internal screams,
A girl struggles to find sanity.
Standing,
Blue eyes, empty veins,
Colored hair, dripping makeup,
A girl struggles to breath.
Published 8th Jan 2010
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comments 5
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8th Jan 2010 8:10pm
...but this piece definitely doesn't. Great use of repetition hooks the reader and reels him or her in. The 'tarnished ring' hints at deeper levels but always a feeling of personal honesty haunts lines throughout the poem.
4th Aug 2010 11:30pm
at one time or another we've all felt like this "mess in a dress." it is simple in description yet effective enough to burn someone's skin. i like how the fixed form expresses this young lady's inner chaos. brilliant...
Anonymous
8th Aug 2010 10:11am
like a dress I'd like to mess with. Don't let your veins be empty.
some of us know the rhythm.
some of us know the rhythm.
12th Dec 2010 11:48pm
16th Dec 2010 6:45am
I absolutely love this work... Its raw imagery works perfectly with the fast, rushed flow you created. It makes each image flash seem that much more urgent.
