Faces within

I like being outside in nature
Laughing with friends in the sun
I like making food, getting lost in the woods
Or dancing and all kinds of fun

But when I feel bad, angry and sad
There’s one thing I really enjoy
It’s when you make me mad, I treat you as my pet
Play around as if you were my toy

I’m really a sociable creature
People like me for being so warm
But when I feel alone, out of my comfort zone
I very well might do you harm

I’ll say it’s your fault, that you’re nasty and cold
And a selfish and uncaring boy
I’ll get more and more bold, as you give me control
I’ll feel right to suck you in my void

My kindness can be my best feature
Friends feel lighter whenever I come
But when they call for help, and I don’t like what they tell
I just might call them stupid or dumb

Even though I do now, know that I somehow
Use others as a decoy
I still do not allow, me to see my own flaws
I half consciously choose to destroy

I’m not proud of my own behaviour
I mostly don’t gain from your pain
But some moments are dark, when deep rage can get sparked
That can suddenly change up my aim

I’ll project to your side, these dark feelings I hide
That I desperately try to avoid
That way I justify, all these reasons I find
To constantly be so annoyed