deepundergroundpoetry.com
Giggle
Want one more?
Sure, call it a celebration
Getting fuzzy, slurring speech
Giggling at no expectations
Have another…
You got it
Stumbling, falling
Giggling, don’t know when to quit
Just one more?
Well, hell yeah, losing count
Spinning, tilting, whirling
Giggling, I love you, no doubt
No more drinky please
Can’t see, can’t really hear
Did I feel me fall? I don’t know…
But I can feel the fear
No more, please
I can’t control my mind
Much less my body
What’s happening this time?
Stop could not be said
If it was, no one heard
Except the drinks sloshing
Guess I am the one disturbed
I know it is my fault
After all, we have a vow
Only bits are remembered
I am in the wrong now
Want one more?
Yes, I feel broken somehow
Why am I hurting?
Giggling, guess I really did fall down…
Have another
Sure, help ease the pain
I am going nowhere, wait I am!
Giggling, going insane.
Sure, call it a celebration
Getting fuzzy, slurring speech
Giggling at no expectations
Have another…
You got it
Stumbling, falling
Giggling, don’t know when to quit
Just one more?
Well, hell yeah, losing count
Spinning, tilting, whirling
Giggling, I love you, no doubt
No more drinky please
Can’t see, can’t really hear
Did I feel me fall? I don’t know…
But I can feel the fear
No more, please
I can’t control my mind
Much less my body
What’s happening this time?
Stop could not be said
If it was, no one heard
Except the drinks sloshing
Guess I am the one disturbed
I know it is my fault
After all, we have a vow
Only bits are remembered
I am in the wrong now
Want one more?
Yes, I feel broken somehow
Why am I hurting?
Giggling, guess I really did fall down…
Have another
Sure, help ease the pain
I am going nowhere, wait I am!
Giggling, going insane.
Published 22nd Sep 2019
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Sep 2019 2:35am
Hey, soul
The frenzy of your write shows the mesmerism of the persona, obviously intoxicated and not in sober mind control. Someone else, though, is priming her (my decision of feminine gender) over the edge, as if to take advantage of the outcome.
There's an outward frivolity that belies the deeper concerns of vows to be honoured, even amidst the "irrationalisation" of conscious thought. The punctiliar giggles form a metronome reflective of increasing sedateness; the persona can no longer tell the extent of the error -- as to whether deep (and perhaps shameful) compromise has taken place.
Structurally, I see your alternating line rhymes, even when rhythmically you are more committed to a free-style exposition. It's almost like rhyme without reason, in the sense that, in the given situation, the frivolity is the rhyme and the intoxication the lack of reason.
Well done!
Sincerely
cab
The frenzy of your write shows the mesmerism of the persona, obviously intoxicated and not in sober mind control. Someone else, though, is priming her (my decision of feminine gender) over the edge, as if to take advantage of the outcome.
There's an outward frivolity that belies the deeper concerns of vows to be honoured, even amidst the "irrationalisation" of conscious thought. The punctiliar giggles form a metronome reflective of increasing sedateness; the persona can no longer tell the extent of the error -- as to whether deep (and perhaps shameful) compromise has taken place.
Structurally, I see your alternating line rhymes, even when rhythmically you are more committed to a free-style exposition. It's almost like rhyme without reason, in the sense that, in the given situation, the frivolity is the rhyme and the intoxication the lack of reason.
Well done!
Sincerely
cab
24th Sep 2019 1:12am
1st Oct 2019 2:40am
27th Nov 2019 2:01pm
Aw noh, drinking can cause troubles. Your poem is splendid and you deserve kudos for how swell you express. The giggling mentioned shows the nervy hazy state.
Pls pleez do review/ comment/ write your thoughts under my newest poem too.
Pls pleez do review/ comment/ write your thoughts under my newest poem too.
