deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Muse
Maudlin, weepy,
beer oiled in pipe-smoke shrouds,
I’m drunkenly wordless in the tavern
watching old men
play round after round of domino topple.
The grandfather clock
stood in the corner strikes
nine
and through smoky veils, and scratchy juke-box tunes
she approaches,
clothing - a total textile-transgress
hair - a chestnut wind-tangled thatch;
offers a tissue
dabbing my eyes.
My Talisman,
a pendant around her neck,
I anoint with a kiss
and from a twinkle in my mind, words
tumbling
through quill by hand
paint the page - an extemporaneous
typeset flow.
beer oiled in pipe-smoke shrouds,
I’m drunkenly wordless in the tavern
watching old men
play round after round of domino topple.
The grandfather clock
stood in the corner strikes
nine
and through smoky veils, and scratchy juke-box tunes
she approaches,
clothing - a total textile-transgress
hair - a chestnut wind-tangled thatch;
offers a tissue
dabbing my eyes.
My Talisman,
a pendant around her neck,
I anoint with a kiss
and from a twinkle in my mind, words
tumbling
through quill by hand
paint the page - an extemporaneous
typeset flow.
Published 17th Sep 2019
| Edited 12th Dec 2019
Author's Note
Written to incorporate the words:
Talisman
Textile
Tavern
Thatch
Tissue
Topple
Transgress
Tumbling
Twinkle
Typeset
Talisman
Textile
Tavern
Thatch
Tissue
Topple
Transgress
Tumbling
Twinkle
Typeset
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 5
reads 145
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Sep 2019 00:31am
There seems to be a huge sense of relief in this poem besides seemingly adrift on a current of melancholy. The observations, particularly the clock, were striking. It seems every English pub I visited when living there had them. I don't know why, but this poem reminded me of the time I went to Norfolk Va to meet my brother, who was coming in from what was supposed to be a six-month stint aboard his Coast Guard Cutter; however, had evolved into almost a year due to severe weather in the north Atlantic shipping lanes.
Anyway, I will never forget that feeling when the cutter rounded the bay and sounded that horn - the energy from the wives and mothers and sons and daughters and fathers was overwhelming joy and relief. Somehow I garnered that same energy from this, albeit I am certain the circumstance differs somewhat.
I particularly enjoyed the Talisman tercet, and the subsequent imagery it evoked, as though kissing the ring of the Pope, or Royalty.
I really don't have any immediate suggestions for honest critique at this point. The energy was quite overwhelming so I am going to digest a bit. I may have something on my second read.
Other than that - an excellent capture of emotion.
Anyway, I will never forget that feeling when the cutter rounded the bay and sounded that horn - the energy from the wives and mothers and sons and daughters and fathers was overwhelming joy and relief. Somehow I garnered that same energy from this, albeit I am certain the circumstance differs somewhat.
I particularly enjoyed the Talisman tercet, and the subsequent imagery it evoked, as though kissing the ring of the Pope, or Royalty.
I really don't have any immediate suggestions for honest critique at this point. The energy was quite overwhelming so I am going to digest a bit. I may have something on my second read.
Other than that - an excellent capture of emotion.
18th Sep 2019 4:17pm
Thank you!
This was a quick write last night, and I didn’t think that it amounted to much as a poem, so I’m totally pleased that it evoked such memory and imparted such energy for you.
I look forward to any suggestion that you may have.
As ever, thank you for the time taken to read and comment.
Kind regards, SeaCat
This was a quick write last night, and I didn’t think that it amounted to much as a poem, so I’m totally pleased that it evoked such memory and imparted such energy for you.
I look forward to any suggestion that you may have.
As ever, thank you for the time taken to read and comment.
Kind regards, SeaCat
Anonymous
18th Sep 2019 1:43am
SeaCat, this is without a doubt, the most amazing poem I've read from you thus far. I have nothing to suggest other than commas after shrouds and talisman and a semicolon after transgress.
18th Sep 2019 4:07pm
A comma after shrouds and talisman - yes, they improve the flow.
I’m a bit lax and hit and miss with my punctuation, so your suggestions are much appreciated.
I’m slightly buzzing following your comments, because this was pretty much a quick write before sleep last night, and I did not think that it amounted to much of a poem :)
As ever, thank you for taking the time to read and comment
SeaCat
I’m a bit lax and hit and miss with my punctuation, so your suggestions are much appreciated.
I’m slightly buzzing following your comments, because this was pretty much a quick write before sleep last night, and I did not think that it amounted to much of a poem :)
As ever, thank you for taking the time to read and comment
SeaCat
Anonymous
18th Sep 2019 4:14pm
On the contrary.
Sometimes our best writes are effortless; even difficult to remember because we spend so little time dwelling on them.
Sometimes our best writes are effortless; even difficult to remember because we spend so little time dwelling on them.
