deepundergroundpoetry.com
combating writers block
MY MIND IS EMPTY
though i keep on thinking
closing my eyes
to stare at the abyss
trying to think of a poem
so worthy, so excusite
though nothing comes to mind
in my minds eye
i've murderd my neighbours cat
for a bloody inspiration
still not even evil
that so easily greets me
doesn't comes to mind
i'm taking a stroll through my backyard
sometimes writting a poem can be hard
but thinking is not.
though i keep on thinking
closing my eyes
to stare at the abyss
trying to think of a poem
so worthy, so excusite
though nothing comes to mind
in my minds eye
i've murderd my neighbours cat
for a bloody inspiration
still not even evil
that so easily greets me
doesn't comes to mind
i'm taking a stroll through my backyard
sometimes writting a poem can be hard
but thinking is not.
Published 19th Dec 2011
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Anonymous
- Edited 20th Dec 2011 1:44pm
20th Dec 2011 1:43pm
Welcome to DU!
Hope you enjoy your stay with us.
Yes he the great olde story of a lack of words.
If I may assist with some nits, you have some spelling errors...
*excusite – exquisite
*murderd – murdered
*writting – writing
Also your submissive "i" seems out of place in a piece like this. I would have expected that the writen dominant "I" would fit in so comfortably.
Then in the first line you have "though i keep on thinking"
It seems misplaced somehow - would this work better?
"Though I keep thinking"
?
All of this just my opinion of course.
Al-x-
Hope you enjoy your stay with us.
Yes he the great olde story of a lack of words.
If I may assist with some nits, you have some spelling errors...
*excusite – exquisite
*murderd – murdered
*writting – writing
Also your submissive "i" seems out of place in a piece like this. I would have expected that the writen dominant "I" would fit in so comfortably.
Then in the first line you have "though i keep on thinking"
It seems misplaced somehow - would this work better?
"Though I keep thinking"
?
All of this just my opinion of course.
Al-x-
20th Dec 2011 1:57pm
Thanx though I try my hardest to spell without failure but as you
Clearly see not the greatest in that area but I'll try harder
Clearly see not the greatest in that area but I'll try harder
