Love or Hate

I got what I wanted
You're away from her but now I feel so selfish
It would be easier to stay there instead of being in that hell called home
But there you are and here I
Am despising myself for putting you through this
For once I did nothing wrong because you were stupid and thoughtless
But I am still sorry
If it weren't for me you'd be away from that place
If it weren't for this jealousy things would be better
If you just listened and understood things would be fine

But they're not fine. Things are wrong and I feel lost

Lost without you because I crave your touch
Your kiss,your smile

Lost with you because you never think
You're selfish,and careless

There I go again ranting
While I am just as selfish for having you back in that hell
No I am no longer mad,just very sad and confused.
Leave or stay. Its up to me but I cannot decide.

I feel like a child who got a new puppy
Wanting it all to myself because for a while it feels like its just for me

I don't want to share you. Or have to worry.
            Don't leave it up to me. I can't choose.
  Either way I will lose.