Am I the only one?

So much misery I feel unfolding
 in every single area I enter.
 Why can't I not think about
all the suffering every second?
So overwhelming,
 am I the only one who
 feels this tension? this uncertainty?
this underlying feeling
of fear filling the atmosphere..
maybe it all begins here with me
and my own disorganized,
I must confess, discreetly depressed mess of a mind confined to confusion,
only finding freedom in silent seclusion
and even there I stay stuck between
 loving myself/life
 embracing each moment
and loathing the loneliness,
drowning in doubt somehow thinking
 I should have it "all figured out" by now or thinking I'll figure it out at all,
as if there is something to "figure out",
letting the expectations erase
every possiblity of this being a peaceful experience.