Jane's River Swim Foiled

Jane's River Swim Foiled  
    
     She wears her best wedding gown. It feels right for her to celebrate the happiest moment in her life on the eve of our anniversary. I comb her hair not knowing her true intentions.
     I serve the dish she so loves, okra, tomatoes, and brown rice. She takes her time eating to savor every bite. I wonder how we will spend the rest of our special night. We finish our dinner together.
     “Take me for a ride, John. I want to see the river by Audubon Park” she tells me. We drive to the Mississippi River. “John, wait here and let me go ahead. I just need a few moments to myself.”
     “Are you ok Jane? Usually, I can see your aura through your clothes. Tonight I just see your dress.”
     “I just need some space, honey.”
     She walks across the levee and down to the grassy area by the river. Behind her back, I stand on the levee watching her. She gazes into the dark rolling waters of the river and looks as though she might quietly extinguish herself there. I find her and hold her tight and kiss her like on our first date. Finally, she discloses to me her dark intent.
     “Be a good husband to some woman who won’t off herself just because she is in a dark mood.”
     “‘Just’ is right. Moods come and go. Now, you better get your butt back in the car. If you make a move toward that river I’m going to tackle you.”  
     “There is no turning back now. Be strong for me because I can’t face this without your courage.”  
     “Jane, if you ever lift a hand to hurt yourself I’ll physically restrain you. Then your sex privileges will be revoked for an entire year.”
     “You wouldn’t dare! Please don’t put me on a diet of no sex. I’ll lose what’s left of my marbles.”
     “You’ll face that music if you ever try to hurt yourself. Cheating on me is pardonable but self-harm is an absolute no-no. Now, get your fanny in the car and no more night trips to the river, ever.”
     “Me, an adulteress, why go out after soy dogs when I’ve got barbecue tempeh at home?”
     “What you need is a good roll in the hay,” I say.
     “Take me for a tumble lover man.”
     “Walk down the riverbank.”
     “Is that so you can lead me to a secluded spot and have your way with me?”
    A ship passing through the night on the river shines its light on us creating a St. Elmo’s fire effect on our profiles. Her face looks like that of Helen sailing the lake of heaven who for the first time sees the Isle of the Blest where she will share the afterlife with Achilles for an eternity of lovemaking.
    “Honey, let me take you home. I couldn’t make it without your cooking” I say.
    “Oh shit. I hope you love me for more than my cooking.”
     “I was making a joke to lighten your mood.”    
     “Well, it worked. Escort me back to our apartment. That roach motel sounds like paradise now.”
     “I can’t cook but that I can do. Let’s go home.”
     “My legs feel weak. Pick me up and carry me to the car” she says.
     I carry her like a bride. “Say lover man; let’s get in your car and cruise. Take me out for Chinese.”
     “With you in your wedding dress, they’ll think we’re newlyweds,” I say.
     Jane says “Honey, my caged bird is ready for a jailbreak. This will be our second honeymoon.”