well

(watch yourself – it's not alone what is or seems to be on your mind but it's your mind watching itself and what is on itself while guessing the world or its self)  
 
I find myself in a foreign place – nebulous  
a realm where symmetry rules my thoughts  
by mocking pareidolically  
I see patterns but I search for meaning  
finding only projections of my self  
my past and coming days to happen  
right before my eyes but staying unrecognized  
profoundly misunderstood  
speaking mysteriously in tongues of any unknown left in-between  
there is no chaos but also no meaning  
which sounds like chaos  
sounds like emptiness – sense got lost  
but I refuse to lose  
I construct by deconstructing obvious explanations  
that reduce my life to senseless forms  
I am trapped elsewhere, but this is always true  
this place is as real without any purpose as is any other  
something in me fights for meaning  
something deep inside me  
a part of a world I used to be  
I beg for sense-making structures and ideas
reflecting a basic principle that doesn't need metaphors  
– but seems to be metaphorical by its very nature –  
and that cannot not provide familiar anchor points  
for thinking and feeling at all  
a foreign place  
beyond a frontier to my understanding and believing  
symmetry bears meaning... an order by reflection  
growing and thereby growing out of balance to get balanced again  
changing by repeating – growing by reflecting  
reflection causes a basic symmetrization of the world  
which may result in a misconception and misunderstanding of the perceived world  
but may also or otherwise reveal an inherent characteristic of the interaction  
between a reflecting mind and the world or self it reflects itself  
an thereby new orders emerge presenting themselves as sense  
made or constructed – not real outside the act of reflection  
but real within as a dynamic part of a self-referringly thought up world  
so the perceived one leads with the reflecting two to the misunderstood third  
this reflecting itself leads to six but still open to infinity  
the seven in my life stands for a dark sense  
that can't be grasped nor defined  
but can be experienced within the act itself  
as a source of something else  
a new category of real  
nebulous but new worlds and selves  
self-referringly and inherently real  
revealing indirectly an inherent structure of the world  
that we experience and are at the same time