a shitty little love poem

 
delusional thoughts flash me
I'm shaken
darkness blurs everything
I'm in too deep
I stand on my feet just to crumble
the devil is in the mirror talking rebellion
one third of heaven fell for him
they are now relegated to hell
look how that worked out
so I teeter totter  
indecision weakens the outcome
so quietly I stutter
d-i-v-o-r-c-e
I'll be fine without you
he fears cos I'm unraveling
stress conjures my demons
I'm sad but there are no tears
thoughts of grandeur has me sky scraping
I'll be a big time author when I leave  
it's a gamble
has he held me back?
or was it always the woman in the mirror?
I go back and forth
there is no clear answer
he's done his best
why do I need to hate to go forth
he desires I fit a mold I can not
for my own good probably
there is no need for resentment
it just wasn't in the cards
our happiness
there were no perfect endings meant for us
a crash landing on the Hudson
a million to one shot