sweet sins of my youth

i remember,
bitterly,
sweet sins of my youth,
when i broke
the Golden Rule
and kept the bigger half,
and measured out in secret
things that were
not mine to keep
while others weep.
even the truth i swallowed,
without mercy
for the hungry,
at whose expense
i gorged myself.

my truant days
were mischief-wise
for wayward paths,
the devil pulling me
beyond the gates
of paradise.
o how i haunted
helpless birds
and lizards
and buzzing bees,
while teachers taunted me
with failing scores
and siblings hunted me
to carry my fair share
of reluctant chores.

the birds i ate for fun;
unseasoned kosher morsels
roasted dry
of all their lovely songs.
the lizards i noosed
with palm-
leaf lassoes to
breathe them free
from the tendency
to loll their
blinking tongues
at me.
the buzz-bees
were my honey kites,
taking Mama’s missing
cotton sewing thread
around their ballerina waists,
leaving in tethered haste
without their pollen
or their pride.

i did not know
my mother
endured the bitterkernel
of my flagrant sins.
i cared even less
about paternal restrictions
and free soul salvation,
too callow
a fellow
of folly
not to follow
hollow
enticements
and errant excitements,
chock full of the frenzy
of the sweet
sins of my youth,
when i broke
the Golden Rule
and ate the
bigger half.

i swallow
now my pride
in mercy for the hungry
at whose expense
i gorged myself,
and measure out
in penitence
my foolish self-defense,
if but my tears
might find a place to hide
from the sweet sins of my youth…

© Copyright 2019 June 12
by Clyve A. Bowen♫