deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Dread
As the panic seems to overtake me
Can’t understand why it isn’t releasing
It’s here when I open my eyes, and
Though I close them, I’m still not breathing
My chest starts to grow ever heavy
It’s like a vice is gripped around my soul
I can’t tell you what’s brought it about
But this feeling — it’s a bone deep cold
All this time wasted trying to break free
For all the times I try to push it down
I’m realizing — I can’t run from this now
The terror is crippling, fear so profound
I’m just scared of myself, what I may become
Locked in cages, in my home and my bones
Nobody can save me, not even myself
I can’t escape this feeling, a raging cyclone
So I finally take a shuddering breath
Is it safe yet or will I cause myself harm?
Oh, can you tell me where am I now?
I crave a sense of security and warmth
This hold it takes over me, unexpectedly
I wish I didn’t have that dark place I sink into
Maybe this vice on my soul will finally let go
But I know in my heart, this is a breakthrough
Breakthroughs aren’t final steps though
They’re just the necessary ones we take
I’m tired of being at its unrelenting mercy
And dealing with the sheer panic in its wake
My pace slows down, I take a look around
I’m at home, safe, where I’ve always been
Now I’ll dust myself off, and try to carry on
God, it’s deafening, and where do I begin?
Can’t understand why it isn’t releasing
It’s here when I open my eyes, and
Though I close them, I’m still not breathing
My chest starts to grow ever heavy
It’s like a vice is gripped around my soul
I can’t tell you what’s brought it about
But this feeling — it’s a bone deep cold
All this time wasted trying to break free
For all the times I try to push it down
I’m realizing — I can’t run from this now
The terror is crippling, fear so profound
I’m just scared of myself, what I may become
Locked in cages, in my home and my bones
Nobody can save me, not even myself
I can’t escape this feeling, a raging cyclone
So I finally take a shuddering breath
Is it safe yet or will I cause myself harm?
Oh, can you tell me where am I now?
I crave a sense of security and warmth
This hold it takes over me, unexpectedly
I wish I didn’t have that dark place I sink into
Maybe this vice on my soul will finally let go
But I know in my heart, this is a breakthrough
Breakthroughs aren’t final steps though
They’re just the necessary ones we take
I’m tired of being at its unrelenting mercy
And dealing with the sheer panic in its wake
My pace slows down, I take a look around
I’m at home, safe, where I’ve always been
Now I’ll dust myself off, and try to carry on
God, it’s deafening, and where do I begin?
Published 6th Jun 2019
Author's Note
Quick spill, may edit later (shrug)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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6th Jun 2019 10:35am
7th Jun 2019 7:39pm
Oh thank you! Yeah, it was just such a quick write. About 15 minutes so I assumed I may want to edit later!
As always, FeNyX, thank you for the read, the comment and the love❤️ Kudos, Liv
As always, FeNyX, thank you for the read, the comment and the love❤️ Kudos, Liv
Anonymous
6th Jun 2019 1:46pm
Damn, this felt so familiar. I found myself with my throat tightening and forgetting to breathe. You're right about breakthroughs. Steps indeed. Take enough of them though, and it gets a little easier to focus, to breathe. I'm still waiting for that never happens anymore feeling myself, but I'm still fighting the good fight...whatever that means. When the space we're fighting for is our own minds, the battle becomes that much more necessary and worthy. Here's to breakthroughs & your fight! ~Willow~
7th Jun 2019 7:53pm
Aww, I’m glad you enjoyed it, Willow! I love when my writing connects with others. To fighting the good fight!
As always, Willow, thank you for the read, the comment and the love❤️
Kudos, Liv
As always, Willow, thank you for the read, the comment and the love❤️
Kudos, Liv
