well no answer

My Bully

Leaving you without word,
Nothing left to say,
You and I are never going,
To forget the pain you caused.

Something must have hurt you,
And you simply bullied me to make you smile,
There's so many things I want to say,
But it seems the right words would not help.

I never got to say goodbye,
Or tell you that I cared about each word you said,
You must have felt all good hurting me,
Desperate, hurt, and scared, you just hurt me again
I wonder why you felt happy
That your pain engulfed my life to make me become,
What I am today.

I wonder if you thought of me,
As you beat and kicked me,
Calling me queer, fag and so much more,
To the score of your friends,
The playground roar,
If I could go back in time,
And try to make you see,
What you was doing to me.

I would show all my tears,
When they fell each time you humiliated me.
Show you a place so dark,
That my deep self-harm scars would glow,
But here I am,
And pain I feel,
I still cry myself to sleep at night.
Because I do not know who I am.

I saw you the other day,
Drunk upon the street,
I wonder why you are there, or why I care.
I gave you a fiver and walked away,
The bully who hurt me, beat me,
And haunts my dreams.
You might be drunk upon the pavement,
But you are still my worse nightmare.