deepundergroundpoetry.com
LOVE RULES LIFE .
LOVE RULES LIFE .
Thorns of fields, you can unnerve my frightened mind
for a while but then you weary my calm soul
whose strong love is wildly rampant and can't wait
as the love of souls can't live under control.
Man has not been asked if he would come to earth.
That's a proof that life is full of glorious gifts.
Man's heart is a copy of the Artist's heart
which is flaming with warm love whose heat is strong.
Earthly love, no force can stop your sailing boat
whose unfolded sails drift you to that long line,
where the endless skies meet our land to join
great, divine love with that of little men.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
Thorns of fields, you can unnerve my frightened mind
for a while but then you weary my calm soul
whose strong love is wildly rampant and can't wait
as the love of souls can't live under control.
Man has not been asked if he would come to earth.
That's a proof that life is full of glorious gifts.
Man's heart is a copy of the Artist's heart
which is flaming with warm love whose heat is strong.
Earthly love, no force can stop your sailing boat
whose unfolded sails drift you to that long line,
where the endless skies meet our land to join
great, divine love with that of little men.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________________________________
Published 12th May 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 368
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Thorns of fields or fields of thorns?
Forgive me, but I do not see that what you wrote here actually deals with how, why, or even if (not to mention **that**) love rules (all?) life.
And I also don't understand
(1) why anyone would set sail from "our" (their?) land to behold where "the endless skies" meet "our" (their) land's coastline (even assuming it has one) since this can be done on land,
(2) how unfolded sails drift a boat anywhere (isn't it a current that drifts a boat, and then only when the boat is unmoored?),
(3) that it's only with "little men" that divine love joins itself, or
(4) that it's only at the long line of a coast where this joining occurs.
Nor do I understand that the fact that "man" has no choice but to be earthly born proves that life is full of glorious gifts. To Buddhists and many others mired without choice in "the slings an arrows of outrageous fortune and the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to", that's proof of just the opposite.
And don't you assert in the claim you make in your title that "the love of souls" (did you mean the love that souls possess/feel [assuming that discarnate beings do] or the love that one has for souls?) [i]can[/i] be ruled and controlled? Otherwise, your claim that love rules all is nonsense.
Sorry but what you claim here seems so full of what is known as "bullshit buzzers" -- assertions that are so contrary to experience and common sense -- that it is likely that readers of this piece are going to frequently be taken right out of what you posted and be made to think that you do not know what you are talking about.
Forgive me, but I do not see that what you wrote here actually deals with how, why, or even if (not to mention **that**) love rules (all?) life.
And I also don't understand
(1) why anyone would set sail from "our" (their?) land to behold where "the endless skies" meet "our" (their) land's coastline (even assuming it has one) since this can be done on land,
(2) how unfolded sails drift a boat anywhere (isn't it a current that drifts a boat, and then only when the boat is unmoored?),
(3) that it's only with "little men" that divine love joins itself, or
(4) that it's only at the long line of a coast where this joining occurs.
Nor do I understand that the fact that "man" has no choice but to be earthly born proves that life is full of glorious gifts. To Buddhists and many others mired without choice in "the slings an arrows of outrageous fortune and the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to", that's proof of just the opposite.
And don't you assert in the claim you make in your title that "the love of souls" (did you mean the love that souls possess/feel [assuming that discarnate beings do] or the love that one has for souls?) [i]can[/i] be ruled and controlled? Otherwise, your claim that love rules all is nonsense.
Sorry but what you claim here seems so full of what is known as "bullshit buzzers" -- assertions that are so contrary to experience and common sense -- that it is likely that readers of this piece are going to frequently be taken right out of what you posted and be made to think that you do not know what you are talking about.
28th May 2019 7:38am
Dear Baldwin,
Thank you very much for your interest. My friend, this is poetry, not a study about life.
Thank you very much for your interest. My friend, this is poetry, not a study about life.
28th May 2019 2:19pm
False dichotomy. How, even if it's true that your post is poetry, does that fact allow you to write poorly and make claims that are highly questionable?
28th May 2019 4:19pm
Dear Baldwin,
My dear friend, l wonder how a great critic like you, who likes to spread good poetry everywhere, generalizes in such a way by saying bad writing after writing so much, and doesn't give one example with his explanation. By your honour, if anybody addresses you in such a way, what do you say about him. Please give me the mistakes you are talking about, or show me a sample of your poetry. Then we can talk. Thank you.
My dear friend, l wonder how a great critic like you, who likes to spread good poetry everywhere, generalizes in such a way by saying bad writing after writing so much, and doesn't give one example with his explanation. By your honour, if anybody addresses you in such a way, what do you say about him. Please give me the mistakes you are talking about, or show me a sample of your poetry. Then we can talk. Thank you.
28th May 2019 6:00pm
You seem to be unaware that I have posted things here. To see them, search my name. But I'm not sure that how **I** write has any bearing on whether or not **you** write poorly and whether or not my observations about the way you write are on the mark.
28th May 2019 4:46pm
I gave several examples above of what is poorly written in your piece. Lines that don't make sense and that contradict others that you wrote are poorly written lines.
