deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ponderland
Ponderland.
The tire rolls down the smoking street,
shattered glass, bleeding feet
little girl only slightly wheezing
focuses on Daddy, he's no longer breathing -
the pool of oil still slightly ignited
like the news reporter's cigarette five minutes
before 'LiveTime'; another tragedy, another day.
The clock ticks, ticks, ticks, ticks in frustration.
The face of the small girl melts into wax,
the shattered glass become large raindrops sweeping me up into a tidal wave, a tsunami
attacking the smoking street.
Que the screaming, other people
only wax faces bobbing,
bobbing as I struggle to stay afloat.
My breathing is in my throat...
It's a psychotic's nightmare,
if the only positive,
it makes me appreciate what's real.
The tire rolls down the smoking street,
shattered glass, bleeding feet
little girl only slightly wheezing
focuses on Daddy, he's no longer breathing -
the pool of oil still slightly ignited
like the news reporter's cigarette five minutes
before 'LiveTime'; another tragedy, another day.
The clock ticks, ticks, ticks, ticks in frustration.
The face of the small girl melts into wax,
the shattered glass become large raindrops sweeping me up into a tidal wave, a tsunami
attacking the smoking street.
Que the screaming, other people
only wax faces bobbing,
bobbing as I struggle to stay afloat.
My breathing is in my throat...
It's a psychotic's nightmare,
if the only positive,
it makes me appreciate what's real.
Published 2nd Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
29th Dec 2011 3:23pm
LA
Visceral you. Visual you.
You have managed to move
me like noone else. And very
quietly you have placed yourself
in one of my favourite poets.
This works for me at many levels.
Cinematic. Disturbing. Fluid.
You could break the long sentence
in the second stanza. JMHO.
'Que' should have been cue.
You could always rethink the
punctuation. But then again
poetic liberty is a vast realm.
Loved it. And the title.:)
Curtsy,
S'
Visceral you. Visual you.
You have managed to move
me like noone else. And very
quietly you have placed yourself
in one of my favourite poets.
This works for me at many levels.
Cinematic. Disturbing. Fluid.
You could break the long sentence
in the second stanza. JMHO.
'Que' should have been cue.
You could always rethink the
punctuation. But then again
poetic liberty is a vast realm.
Loved it. And the title.:)
Curtsy,
S'
15th Mar 2013 4:33pm
Hey, I've had a wander around your
collection of poetry and this is far by
my favorite although I have close seconds :)
It's a psychotic's nightmare,
if the only positive,
it makes me appreciate what's real.
I enjoyed the way you ended it,
in a psychotically hopeful-sort-of-way.
Clever writing.
collection of poetry and this is far by
my favorite although I have close seconds :)
It's a psychotic's nightmare,
if the only positive,
it makes me appreciate what's real.
I enjoyed the way you ended it,
in a psychotically hopeful-sort-of-way.
Clever writing.
