deepundergroundpoetry.com

THE HOLE WE DIG

 

The hole we place ourselves in is reinforced every time we fall deeper into the pit of self doubt.
Kicked down so hard that when we hit the bottom and begin struggling in the pit, the dirt and boulders of self doubt bury us once again.
We have been here so many times that we believe it is safer in the dirt and strength of the rocks, because we justify our own naivety by reinforcing the familiar continuum of failure.
When Not coming to the awakening that repeating the same pattern of behavior will somehow give us a different result.
How do we change the behavior of self doubt?
I don't know yet.
Trying to come from a place of self doubt myself. I'm trying to change my behavior.
It so fucking easy for others to point out the wrongs they see within in you. If the advice you seek is given back to you from a place of love or compassion, then it must be received as a way to love yourself or to have compassion for ourselves. Which most of the time for me, it becomes mere words. Because I survive by strength and duty, to not be seen as a failure on the outside, no matter how many times I fail myself on the inside.
I can so easily advise and give strength to those who seek my triumphs.
But, they have no idea I can only advise them on what I see within themselves that resembles me.
We all seek validation.
When your validation is served a la carte with scrutiny, try and enjoy the victory. The hole of self doubt can eventually become the stepping stone to a level of self worth rather than a place of self defense.
Written by Lagertha (Elizabeth Grace)
Published
Author's Note
Step 2
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