deepundergroundpoetry.com
At Home With Only Myself
Home and “home”
Are two different things.
my heart screams at me
crawling behind indifferent legs
“Look at me,” she sobs, “it’s not
RIGHT”
no it isn’t
PUT IT BACK
i can’t
DO IT! IT HURTS!
darling, i know. But, let it pass.
Let it pass over you, look, the sunshine crawls through the windows towards you-
Let it in.
Are two different things.
my heart screams at me
crawling behind indifferent legs
“Look at me,” she sobs, “it’s not
RIGHT”
no it isn’t
PUT IT BACK
i can’t
DO IT! IT HURTS!
darling, i know. But, let it pass.
Let it pass over you, look, the sunshine crawls through the windows towards you-
Let it in.
Published 27th Mar 2019
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Mar 2019 5:03pm
Good advice, get back out into the sun and get some Vitamin D. before you know it you will be enjoying yourself.
27th Mar 2019 11:06pm
Excellent verse filled with wisdom. In the spirit of honest critique, I suggest the following:
Home and “home”
(a)re two different things.
(M) heart screams at me(;)
crawling behind indifferent legs
“Look at me,” she sobs, “it’s not
RIGHT”
No, it isn’t
"PUT IT BACK(!)"
I can’t
"DO IT! IT HURTS!"
(D)arling, (I) know. But, let it pass(;)
(l)et it pass over you
Look, the sunshine crawls
through the windows towards you-
Let it in.
What I've done is alter inconsistencies such as punctuation and capitalization for a smoother read. I also inserted space to allow the reader to absorb the conversation, to slowly digest the forthcoming advice.
Beautifully zenlike work reminiscent of releasing what we cannot control in order to find peace.
Home and “home”
(a)re two different things.
(M) heart screams at me(;)
crawling behind indifferent legs
“Look at me,” she sobs, “it’s not
RIGHT”
No, it isn’t
"PUT IT BACK(!)"
I can’t
"DO IT! IT HURTS!"
(D)arling, (I) know. But, let it pass(;)
(l)et it pass over you
Look, the sunshine crawls
through the windows towards you-
Let it in.
What I've done is alter inconsistencies such as punctuation and capitalization for a smoother read. I also inserted space to allow the reader to absorb the conversation, to slowly digest the forthcoming advice.
Beautifully zenlike work reminiscent of releasing what we cannot control in order to find peace.
18th Nov 2019 11:54pm
