DARK BLUES

DARK BLUES
S.JENSEN (c)2019

SUN DOWN ON MY FACE
DRINKING THE WATER
WAITING ON BUS
KNOWING THINGS
HAVENT REALLY CHANGED
NOR DO I
THINK THEY WILL
NOW

LEARNING TO
ACCEPT
THE WAY THINGS
ARE
AND THIS FATE
OF MINE
...

HEAD STILL
POUNDING
BUT TODAY
MANTRAS
FOG THE NERVES
AN SO
ITS SOMEWHAT
TOLERABLE
WITH THE
MED TEAS

...
LITTLE BLUES
FROM THE
MAGNESIUM
LOW
BUT BEING FIXED
...

STAYING IN A CALM
SPACE
ALLOWING
THE SILENCE
TO FALL INTO
PLACE
THIS LOSS
IS ONLY FROM
THIS SIDE OF THINGS
LAST TO BE
LAST TO KNOW
AND LET IT GO
...
ITS WHAT
THEY WANT
ANYHOW
NOT HOW I FEEL
BUT HOW
I HAVE TO DEAL
CAUSE ITS
WHAT IS WANTED...
ONE DAY
MAYBE THE
SITUATIONS WILL
BE DIFFERENT
YET I DOUBT
THE SOULMATE
MY KINDRED
SOUL
WILL COME
BACK AROUND
IN THIS LIFETIME

FEELING
KINDA LIKE OLD
WEATHERED
TORN LEATHER

PATCHED TOGETHER
NOT BRITTLE
TO THE POINT
DONE
BUT THE
BLACK DYE
IS WORN AWAY
SHOWING
THE EDGES
AND NATURAL
COLOURS
UNDERNEATH
FOR ALL TO SEE

RESTITCHED
AND DESIGNS COVER
THE GAPING HOLES
THAT CAN’T
BE REPLACED

GIFTED TO ME
IN THAT STATE
OF FRACTUREDNESS
OWNED FOR
30 YEARS
I LOVE IT JUST
AS IT IS
I DONT WEAR IT
I JUST ADMIRE IT
SEEMS
SO HOW I FEEL
AS OF LATELY

ALSO GIFTED TO ME
A SMALL
DENIM JACKET
STILL PERFECT
SLIGHTLY WORN VIEW
INSIDE IT
IN SHARPIE
THE WORDS
I LOVE YOU
JUST AS CHERISHED
AND NOT
SO BEATEN
BLACK AND BLUE
THE COLOURS
OF A HEART
LONG LONG GONE
AWAY
MEMORIES
I HOLD
UNREQUITED
IN BOTH SPOTS
MOMENTS IN TIME
WHERE THINGS
WERE SIMPLY
AS THEY ARE

AS WITH THINGS
NOTHING STAYS
THE SAME
BUT THOSE MEMORIES
...
MED TEA
SOOTHS THE PAIN
AWAY
NUMBING THE
HURT
OF PHYSICAL
ACHES
IN THIS AGING BODY
YET
THE HEART INSIDE
IS NOT QUITE
AS WORN
I WOULD SAY
ITS WEATHERD
BUT MORE LIKE
ADDED LAYERS
OF METAL
COVER ITS SHELL
HOLDING IT TIGHT
KNOWING
THOSE
DAYS ARE LONG
GONE

AND NO ONE
KNOWS THE
DAYS TO COME
FOR NOTHING
IS GUARANTEED
WE MAKE DO
AS BEST AS WE CAN
UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES

THE DIAMONDS
OF MY HEART
HOLD THREE FIRES
ONE IS DIM
ONE IS OUT
ONE IS
IN LIMBO
STILL
AND REMAINS THERE

VIRGO TO ONE
CAPRICORN TO ANOTHER
AND THAT
CANCER
OH THAT CANCER
WORSE ON MY
HEART OF ALL

MY CHILD REMINDS
ME OF THAT DAY
ALL THE TIME
THAT MEMORY
I CAN’T FORGET

NOR DO I WANT TO
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
ABOUT THAT
ONE MOMENT IN TIME

NONE HELD MY
HEART FOR LONG
NONE CHERISHED IT
TO KEEP IT
NONE WISHED
TO BE MY
KNIGHT
FOR I SAVED MYSELF
WITH EACH
AND HELPED THEM
ALONG
THE WAY
LIKE THE DRAGON
THAT GOT AWAY
THIS LIL MONKEY
HAS NO ONE
STILL

MEN JUST
FIZZLE AWAY
WOMEN
ARE SO
INTENSE
AND JUST
FADE IN THE
WIND

THOUGH I MUST
SAY THREE OF THEM
HURT ME THE MOST
AND TRIED TO TAKE
MY LIFE AWAY

ONE IS STILL
JUST A DREAM
A DREAM
MIXED IN A LOST
WORLD
THAT DONT
REALLY EXIST
BUT I MADE IT
CREATED IT
IN MY HEAD
THIS LIL INFJ
TRIED TO
BE MORE THAN
SHE WAS ALLOWED

OF THEM ALL
SHE IS THE ONLY
ONE THAT TEARS
STILL FORM
DAMN

YET WE ALL
CARRY ON
AS WE HAVE TO

AND I DON’T
REALLY KNOW HER
AS CLOSE
AS THE OTHERS
SO WHY
 THE TEARS FORM
MAYBE JUST
MAYBE ITS
THAT WE NEVER
GOT TO BE
THAT IS WHAT DOES IT


THE VERDICT IS OUT
DID ANY REALLY
TRULY CONNECT
WITH ME
DID I REALLY
LOVE ALONE
IN HALF OF THEM
PROBABLY

SO NOW
I AM IN THAT
MAJOR LIMBO
SPOT

CARRYING MY
LIL DARK BLUES
AROUND WITH ME
OH THE BLUES
THIS SOUTHERN SOUL
CAN’T ESCAPE
HER ROOTS
WE TEND
TO CARRY TRAGEDY
LIKE A GLOVE
AND SING IT OUT
LIKE A HORN
ITS THAT DANCING BEAT
THAT SADNESS
WE KNOW
SO WELL
AND NEVER SKIPS
A BEAT
THAT GOOD OLE
NEW ORLEANS
FLAIR
YEAH ITS
 IN GRAINED
MY DIXIE LAND
COASTAL HOME
NO LONGER
YET IN MY
HEART LIKE EVERYTHING
REMAINS...

ALL MY SILVER
CIRCLES FLOATING
AROUND MY
DARK BLUES
THE AIR MOLECULES
THAT DOUBLE
AS EYES ALL SEEING
OMNIPOTENT
ADONI
YEAH
THAT FLOWS A TAD
IN ALL OF US
BEINGS
HERE FOR WE
ARE CREATED
FROM THAT THOUGHT
ENERGY
MY TRIPLE WATERS
FLOW FROM THE JUG
OUT MY PERSONALITY
OUT MY EMOTIONS
AND OUT MY MENTALITY
HARD TO ESCAPE
THAT
NOR DO I WANT TO
IT IS SO WHO I AM
WHO I LOVE TO BE
AND WHERE
I AM ALWAYS GONNA BE

ONE IN SPIRITUAL
UNION TO
THE UNIVERSE
BEYOND THE NORM
THAT IS WHERE
I GO
WHERE I ESCAPE TO
WHERE I FIND
THE GROUNDING
EDGES
OF THE CRAZY WORLD
AND LEAVE
IT BEHIND
FOR A LIL WHILE

TIME STILL
FLOWS THE SANDS
ONE GRAIN AT A TIME
AND BACK
TO THIS EARTHLY
SPHERE
I REMAIN
FOR A TIME LONGER
SUFFERING
HAS NOT ENDED YET
THE FIGHT IS NOT
OVER YET

AND I REFUSE
TO CUT IT SHORTER
JUST SIMPLY REFUSE
THAT SO PAIN BECOMES
MY CLOSEST FRIEND
SIGH
AND FIND RELIEF WHERE
I CAN
TO MAKE IT GO AWAY
TIL IT RETURNS
AGAIN

THESE BOUNDARIES
WE ALL
SET

FOUNDATIONS
IN STONE
OR IN SAND
ON SOLID GROUND
OR SHALLOW
WATERS

IN TIME
ERODES AWAY
AND WE
ALL NEED
TO FIND THAT
STABILITY
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

MY REFLECTING DOTS
IN EPIC LINES
GLOWING AND
FLOWING

FRIEND JUST
ASKED HOPE YOU FEELING
BETTER
NOPE NOT REALLY
YET I WILL SOON
SO I DON’T ANSWER HER
JUST FLOAT THE
MESSAGE
TO LIMBO
I AM GOOD AT THAT

NOT IN THE MOOD
TO TALK
SINCE PAIN
IS LIKE NEVERENDING

I KNOW
ITS ALL BACK NOW
ITS ALL BACK
AS I AM NOW GROUNDED
BACK TOO
GUESS IT HAS TO BE
THIS WAY
IF I WANT TO
LIVE MY LIFE OUT
THATS THE
CHOICE

I CAN’T STAY
IN IT
AND KEEP MY
FLESH AND BLOOD
NOT READY
TO GO YET
SO I FLOAT
THE MANTRAS
KNOWING
AND BELIEVING
AND CARRYING
ME THROUGH
THERE IS SO MUCH
MORE TO DO
MORE TO LEARN
MORE TO SEE
AND MORE TO BE
MAYBE ONE DAY
I GO BACK
THERE AND STAY
IF ALLOWED TO
GO BACK
I DON’T KNOW

WE NEVER DO
BUT I AM OK WITH THAT
KNOWING
THE PEACE
THERE
IF ITS WHERE I END UP
OK I WILL TAKE THAT

TOTALLY

JUST NOT NOW

OH MY DARK BLUES
IN THE CORNER
THE MOON GLOWS
THE NIGHT
SHADOWS LIKE
WATER
SIMPLY THE
BEST
 SHOWS THE
EMOTION
BETTER
THAN WHAT WAS
THERE BEFORE
YET PEAKS ITS
WAY THROUGH
FOR ITS NEVER ENDING
THE
DIFFERENCE
IN SUBJECT TO OBJECTIVE
INTO NOW
THE PERSPECTIVES
OF US
MY DEAR
OLE DARK BLUES!