thought choices

Its you that I desperately seek  
Why cant we speak?  
nightmares of loneliness captured in my mind  
Despair  
its just not fair  
dysfunctional heartache of memories  
 
World of anguish just wont go away  
time to pick my head up  
the force is too powerful  
sickness overwhelming my thoughts  
break this cycle now  
 
A new outlook  
fight for strength  
fantasizing a faithful beginning  
I'm getting stronger with each breath  
Looking at my life  
coulda, shoulda, woulda  
here for a purpose  
here to embrace  
remembering it isn't a race