Doppelgänger

There is a family curse that no one talks about
Hidden from the very one caught in it's snout
I found her picture when I was thirteen
Disbelief paused time as I gazed at me

Time
What a fickle construct
I have none left
I have run out of luck

I am new to this
I do not know what to do
Are they real?
Can it be true

She is alive now
Her young face is now mine
When she dies
She said i will see
The design

You cannot know how desperate I am
Seeing what I have seen
Running before I could even stand

Do you know what it is to see the sentence
Before words start to form in any existence
To be told they're in your head but they whisper truth
The fear in their eyes serving to us as irrefutable proof

What we were seeing was always real
Words fall short and will never reveal
Yet I have no practice
Just years of old religion
Beaten into me
For I was sacrilegious

Never once was I taught
How to open to some
Fend off the evil strong
And let in the good ones

Somewhere along the way
I shut them all out
Now they're back with a vengeance
Waiting for my double to give out

The one who shunned me all of my life
Now beckons to us as she dies
I will not go but still I confide
She scares me more in death than she ever did alive.