deepundergroundpoetry.com
Beyond redemption
Either comfortably sedated with buprenorphine
Or running the streets a shady dope fiend
My thoughts & memories continue to be my number one enemy
This dark obsession with the needle has consumed all
I struggle threw this narrow path and still I fall
Why does leaving this shit still cause me such tension
I go threw life it seems forever…beyond redemption
Always a junkie in the eyes of so many
Forever a fiend, no matter how long I stay clean
So easy to forget all the pain, the stress, the drama
It’s like my brain is now mush
Yet so hard to forget that first intense rush
I poke around till the blood fills my “rig”
Muscles tighten, eyes pin
As a warm opiate blanket covers my skin
I’m always chasing this imaginary high
Faster and faster the years continue to fly
This cycle appears to have no end
My life twists and turns and bends
Back to where the fuck I started…
Back in rehab yet again !
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Or running the streets a shady dope fiend
My thoughts & memories continue to be my number one enemy
This dark obsession with the needle has consumed all
I struggle threw this narrow path and still I fall
Why does leaving this shit still cause me such tension
I go threw life it seems forever…beyond redemption
Always a junkie in the eyes of so many
Forever a fiend, no matter how long I stay clean
So easy to forget all the pain, the stress, the drama
It’s like my brain is now mush
Yet so hard to forget that first intense rush
I poke around till the blood fills my “rig”
Muscles tighten, eyes pin
As a warm opiate blanket covers my skin
I’m always chasing this imaginary high
Faster and faster the years continue to fly
This cycle appears to have no end
My life twists and turns and bends
Back to where the fuck I started…
Back in rehab yet again !
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Published 21st Nov 2011
| Edited 23rd Jan 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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20th Jan 2012 5:13pm
It's a bitch isn't it...
I have a different poison
but i have struggled for years
with addiction
slowly I am winning the battle
ups and downs still but getting there
Thoughts are with you
I have a different poison
but i have struggled for years
with addiction
slowly I am winning the battle
ups and downs still but getting there
Thoughts are with you
23rd Jan 2012 2:20am
thank u jane55, it is definitly a bitch. one day at a time as they say. i know it does get easier in time. although, it sure doesnt feel that way sometimes. maybe someday i'll be able to write about something other than the horrors of addiction
25th Jan 2012 2:20am
I really related to this, especially the lines: "This dark obsession with the needle has consumed all" and "I’m always chasing this imaginary high". Very well stated. I wish you all the best in battling your addiction. Going through the same thing, I know how much it sucks.
25th Jan 2012 2:52am
thank you, it feels good to know that other people that are battling the same demons as myself can relate to what im saying. sometimes it feels as tho no one has any fucking clue what im going threw. good luck to u and things will get easier. we didnt fuck our lives up over night...there's no "instant gratification" here. it sucks, but recovery does take time
