The Many Different Shades of Me

I am Joy the loving girlfriend; I'm Joy the common-law wife;
I am the Joy who doesn't know what to do with her life.

I am Joy, the friend; I'm Joy, the people hater;
I am the Joy who agrees with people; I am Joy, the debator.

I'm the Joy who appreciates; I'm the drunk who doesn't give a fuck;
I'm Joy, the Mother Nature believer; I'm the Joy who believes in luck.

I'm Joy, the sufferer; I'm Joy, the confused;
I'm the Joy who wants to make it all go away with booze.

I am Joy, the depressed and Joy, the schizophrenic;
I'm the Joy who is clean, and the Joy who's unhygienic.

I am Joy, the Jacob and kitty Mommy; the Joy who is having her Dad, for her dead cat, plant a tree.

I'm Joy, the strong and Joy, the fragile; I'm Joy, the clumsy and Joy, the agile.

I'm Joy, the sensitive and Joy, the defensive; I'm Joy, the empathetic and Joy, the offensive.

I'm Joy, the lover and Joy, the fighter; I'm Joy, the artist and Joy, the writer.

I'm Joy, the songwriter and Joy, the sister; I am the Joy who became upset when her kitty had a blister.

I am Joy, the daughter and Joy, the teacher; I'm Joy, the atheist and Joy, the preacher.

I'm Joy, the friend and Joy, the loner; I'm the Joy who would and wouldn't be an organ donor.

I'm Joy, the task completor and Joy, the quitter; I'm the Joy who changes the kitty litter.

I'm Joy, the bitch and the anti-feminist; I'm the Joy who at 17, had her first kiss.

I am Joy, the adult and Joy, the child; I'm Joy, the serious and one who is wild.

I'm the Joy who believes in God and the Joy who does not; I'm the Joy who does and doesn't care if her man smokes pot.

I'm the Joy who once liked acid; who does and doesn't like hallucinations; I'm the Joy who works her brain too hard and doesn't take vacations.

I'm the Joy who appreciates and the Joy who does not; what she has and what she has got.

I'm Joy on her period; the Joy who feels crappy;
I'm Joy who can't decide if she is or isn't happy.

I'm Joy, the optimist and Joy, the negative;
I'm one who likes to take and one who likes to give.

I'm Joy, the self-hater and Joy, the confident; I'm the Joy who's self-reliant and dependent.

I'm Joy, the scared and Joy, the weird; I'm the Joy who by other people is feared.

I'm Joy, the baby and one who has an old soul; I'm the Joy who feels fullfilled and the Joy who feels unwhole.

I'm Joy, the relaxed and Joy, the tense; I'm the Joy who has and hasn't any sense.

I'm Joy, the poor and Joy, the rich; I'm Joy, the sweet girl and Joy, the snobby bitch.

I'm Joy, the girl who thinks too much; I'm the Joy who has a rude or respectful touch.

I'm Joy, the suicidal and the Joy who wants to live; I'm the Joy who wants to take and the Joy who wants to give.

I'm Joy, the fat and Joy, the thin; I'm the Joy who can and can't remember where she's been.

I'm Joy, the guilty and Joy who doesn't tell a lie; I'm the Joy who wants to laugh, and the Joy who wants to cry.

I'm the Joy who wants change and who wants to stay the same; I'm the Joy who has herself and everyone else to blame.

I'm Joy, the respectful and Joy who disrespects; who welcomes people with open arms, and others, rejects.

I'm Joy, the lazy and Joy, the crazy; I'm the Joy who is evil and as sweet as a daisy.

I'm Joy who's evil and in pain and Joy who is and feels good; I'm the Joy who is often misunderstood.

I'm Joy, the forgiver and the Joy who holds a grudge; I'm the Joy who is speedy and the Joy who will trudge or won't budge.

I'm the Joy who has self-esteem and who hates herself; I am the Joy who talked to the angel of her sister's ashes, which sat on a shelf.

I am Joy, the victim and Joy, the survivor; I am Joy, the failure and Joy, the thriver.

I'm Joy, the silly and Joy, the straight; I'm the Joy who wants to be on time and never late.

I'm Joy, the apologetic and the Joy who feels no guilt; I'm the Joy who does and doesn't care about the life she's built.

I'm Joy, the grouchy and Joy, the pleasant; I'm the Joy who has money and the Joy who is a peasant.

I'm the Joy who can and can't take a joke; I'm the Joy who doesn't often and often smokes.

I'm Joy, the weak and Joy, the strong; I'm the Joy who's surprised she's lasted this long.

I am Joy, the smart and Joy, the stupid; I am Joy, the evil and Joy, the cupid.

I'm the Joy who is deprived and the Joy who is spoiled; I'm the Joy who needs her drinking water boiled.

I'm Joy, the exhausted and the Joy who's wide awake; I'm the Joy who does and doesn't like to bake.

I'm Joy, the meat-eater and a vegetarian snob; I'm the Joy with a deceased father named David and a step-father named Robb.

I'm the Joy who is scared and the Joy who is feared; I'm the Joy, who by others, is hated and endeared.

I'm the Joy who can and cannot wait; I'm the Joy who will agree and the Joy who will debate.

I'm Joy, the responsible and one who doesn't care; I'm the Joy who had long, but now has short hair.

I'm Joy, the friendly and Joy, the hater; I'm Joy, the agreeable and Joy, the debator.

I'm Joy, the relaxed and Joy, the stressed; I'm the Joy, who myself, I often test.

I'm Joy, the serious and Joy, the funny; I'm the Joy who loves mountains and little bunnies.

I'm Joy, the stupid and Joy, the smart; I'm the Joy who, with her man, doesn't want to part.

I'm Joy, the lazy and Joy, the energetic; I'm the Joy who is and isn't pathetic.

I'm Joy, the oranized and Joy, the mess; I'm the Joy who mostly creates her own stress.

I'm Joy, the disorganized and Joy, the neat; I'm the Joy who will and will not admit defeat.

I'm Joy, the junk food junkie and Joy, who is healthy; I'm the Joy who oftentimes feels rich or unwealthy.

I'm Joy who's a taker and Joy who's a giver; I'm Joy who does and doesn't care if beer is bad for her liver.

I'm just trying to figure out who I really am; but because I'm so ill, I receive a check from Uncle Sam.

These are just different aspects of a personality; It's hard to have control over who I want to be.
 
I believe I can figure myself all out;
Isn't that one aspect of what life is all about?

All of my poems are for my own therapy;
So, I can break down my bullshit and be who I really want to be!