simplicity vs toxicity

In a chamber of despair,
I yearn to be sane  
where I'm painfully aware  
is inside of my brain.  
 
Holding stains from my past  
that I'm forced to relive,  
These walls are the last  
I expect to forgive.  
 
Inside them are demons  
that feed on mistakes.  
And they taunt me with reasons  
 my heart often breaks.  
 
My facade has been strong,  
blending in just enough.  
One that always belongs  
and is worthy of love.  
 
But now it's flimsy and thin,  
so the darkness escaped.  
Now I'm forced to defend  
what can't be contained.  
 
No matter how often,  
It's a fight to survive.  
Like i'm locked in a coffin  
and no one knows i'm alive.  
 
Deep inside of this void  
that nothing can fill,  
is one who's destroyed  
and desperate to feel.  
 
Deep and poetic,  
but I've wasted my words.  
Perhaps I'm pathetic  
or just haven't been heard.  
 
Many souls dealt me pain  
when I wanted just one.  
They've brought me the rain  
while I gave them the sun.  
 
I posses dark rooted sorrow  
and not one ounce of fake.  
My hand you may borrow,  
but my heart you won't take.  
 
My abandonments heavy,  
like my soul hangs it's head.  
But I yearn to be ready  
when I crawl out of bed.  
 
I long for simplicity,  
an escape from my mind  
but In a world full of symmetry
I am far from aligned.