Sometimes

Sometimes I get lost
in my own little world.
Detached from reality,
Apart from civilization.
Without a single worry
about what I may
be faced with.
Just me, myself, and
my obligations.
My little people.
My marks in this life.
My offspring.
My reason.
To want to keep breathing.
My ‘something to believe in’.
Everything else is temporary.
I can’t stop them from leaving.
So I’ve claimed all I truly need,
to stop myself from grieving.
Sure.
I fantasize of a
fairy-tale styled
love-life.
Where a nearly
perfect man
wants to make me
a wife.💍
I dream
that I’m awaiting
true love’s kiss.
As if
True love’s kiss
could possibly fix
All the broken things inside of me.
Again, with the
detachment from reality..

Sometimes I get lost
in my own little world.
I wonder
what lies
beneath the surface.
I fear for my future
And ponder my purpose.
I feel like a clown
and my life is a circus.
My two ends
do not connect.
Zero connection.
I like liquor
from the bottle
and sex
with no protection.
I’ve been all over the world,
Still I have no direction.
I have authority issues,
I just can’t seem
to heed correction.
I let myself do crazy things
for love and affection,
and I just can’t seem
to learn my fuckin lesson.
I’ve been judged
by everyone who’s
ever laid eyes,
cause I can’t  hide
All my transgressions
even if I tried.
It’s hard to smile
because I just feel
like crying..
sometimes...
I swear sometimes
I just feel like dying
sometimes...
But those times..
Where no was there
except for me.
Those times
where no one I knew
accepted me.
Those times
when no one cared
how my trials affected me.
I stood strong.
In the midst of it all.

Sometimes I get lost
in my own little world....
But I like it better there.