T

Your words dance around in my head
Like glue they stick and imprint into my brain  
All the times you built me up to break me down until I wished I was dead  
Because with every I love you came a indescribable pain  
Because you are the being who built me up to cruelly break me back down  
It took time but you slowly broke every bit of me  
The way I see myself the way I think and every ounce of my pain was another jewel in your crown  
You’ve locked away the girl I was and you destroyed the key And to you that was just a game  
A way to see how much pain I could take before I finally jumped off the edge you had been pushing me off all along  
And since I met you I’ve never been the same  
It’s like your sick games are fun and you don’t care if it’s wrong  
To completely break someone who’s been breaking since the day she was born  
And all this time you’ve been a drain  
On my soul on my heart on my brain  
And I will never be the same  
I will never love freely again  
I will never believe the words I love you will not bring some form of pain  
Never will I be able to love myself because your words are imprinted in my brain  
I’m worthless I’m a slut I’m a whore  
Even though I never let you inside me no matter the pressure you gave me  
Because I knew that attachment to you you would destroy and you would break my core  
But I need to get some respect and I am a slag even though I never let you go too far  
And even then it was just to stop the pain you would bring.  
But still I’m the whore but you have done no wrong because the scars you inflicted cannot be seen by anyone but me.  
But still I’m the whore who you once claimed to love but you leave so easily  
It cannot be love it’s lust that you cannot ignore because I never let you get the one thing you’ve ever truly wanted from me  
And so you continue to attempt to break me in the hope I’ll be so broken and the i love you you so carelessly mutter will get you inside of me  
Because to you I’m a whore you’ve known since I was 12 and you was 17 and you thought that I would give in to your advances because you cannot see me as anything other than another one of them whores.