deepundergroundpoetry.com
From his eye ( what you don't think part II )
Your eyes
Hungering for my love
Your lips
want me to taste them
Your neck
Begging to be bitten as you kant
Your breast
Harden filling of passion
Your heart
Bleeding of ecstacy
Your hips
Thrust and grind against me
Your insides
Wetting from anticipation
Your knees
Weakening from lust
Your body
Elegantly moves to closer to me
Feeling to breath my air
I turn my back
I walk away
Feeling fucked up are you?
" fool me once shame on you,
Fool me twice shame on me"
You destroyed me before
So- Satan with tits
There's the fucking door.
Hungering for my love
Your lips
want me to taste them
Your neck
Begging to be bitten as you kant
Your breast
Harden filling of passion
Your heart
Bleeding of ecstacy
Your hips
Thrust and grind against me
Your insides
Wetting from anticipation
Your knees
Weakening from lust
Your body
Elegantly moves to closer to me
Feeling to breath my air
I turn my back
I walk away
Feeling fucked up are you?
" fool me once shame on you,
Fool me twice shame on me"
You destroyed me before
So- Satan with tits
There's the fucking door.
Published 18th Nov 2011
| Edited 14th Mar 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
14th Mar 2012 9:34am
This was quite good. I enjoyed the way you interpreted the guys perspective. There were one or two errors though, unless they were intended.
"Bleeding of extacy"
Did you mean ecstasy?
"Elegantly moves to closer to me"
Elegantly moves to be closer to me?
or
Elegantly moves closer to me?
"Bleeding of extacy"
Did you mean ecstasy?
"Elegantly moves to closer to me"
Elegantly moves to be closer to me?
or
Elegantly moves closer to me?
14th Mar 2012 10:07am
One was a mistake; one was intended. A broken verse. That you for paying attention to detail. It lets the writer know that you are looking into the poem. Thank you for the comment
