Missed it

Long ago...
I missed it.  
The moment of connection.  
I froze solid,
closed all the doors,  
and it passed.  
 
Funny how I can pour my soul onto a page,  
bleeding out my very core in inked words  
that my mouth will never dare taste.  
But faced with your eyes, your kindness, your care –  
I was struck mute.  
And even beyond that –  
I feigned deafness too.  
 
So, the notes of your proclamation  
echoed  
unanswered  
off my frozen wall of self-doubt.  
Because I had a history  
of reading dreams between lines  
where there is really only blank space  
....prone to fits of imagination.  
 
So... beautiful, exceptional…  
I simply knew those words couldn’t be for me,  
as much as I might have wished it.  
Didn’t even dare entertain the thought.  
 
In that moment, as your heart finally sprang forth,  
mine….  
detached  
and turned to rubber.  
 
And so I missed it.  
 
*  
 
One could say that freezing was the wise response.  
That meeting your eyes and soul  
in that moment  
would have ignited  
a treacherous blaze.  
And I’m sure that’s true.  
Life turned out better this way.  
 
Still I wonder,  
and sometimes wish
I hadn't  
missed it.