Guilty Delusion

I am dizzy - With delusional anticipation...
She WILL return
when I least expect it.

I should feel some form of guilt
for looking forward to her return.
For testing foundations built
when my First love said, " I do. "

Ages of neglect for my Feeling soul
I starve for that coupled intimacy.
My parched throat craves the wet flow
byproduct of beings in need.

In my quiet hours spent
alone emotionally and longing for that touch
She comes to me as if Heaven sent
Makes love to me somehow with much
more than the physical.

She is my intimate allusion
Although to others not real
Real enough for me...
My lover, my Guilty Delusion.