Screw You

I wonder..
Do you remember?
Because I do
I remember it all
Always
Always..
The memories that bring that ping to my heart
And the mixture of happy and sad tears
What a bitter pill you gave me to swallow
I loved you
Now I hate you
It doesn't know how it should feel about you
I remember your smile
Then it switches to your eyes full of rage
Glaring into mine
Don't you get it yet?
The nausea I feel when I see your name
The fear rising on my skin as it recalls your cruel touch
Flinching when people bring their hands too close
Someone like you could never understand
Keep your pathetic apology
No amount of sorries can erase what's been engraved
This is my reality forced upon me that I must accept
I wish I could pretend I never knew you
I wish I could forget about us
I wish I could feel normal again
But you robbed me
You robbed me of so much more than you think
I'll never be the same
And I have to make that okay
Somehow..
It's clear you didn't love me
But I was still a human being
And you'll always be the monster in my closet
No matter what mask you wear
Screw you, Mr. "nice guy"