"Scented bath with candles - though the bathroom door won't shut ... ". A standard asp & staple from your local hardware store will deal with that - with the right size, it'll stretch over the gap between the door-edge and the architrave, no problem. :))
But without the chaos, things would be so boring! Also, thank you. Not sure if this would work on a 70s manufactured home (they are weird), but I will file this away for when the kids are in college and I can get around to this kind of thing.