My Undershorts Have Died

 
Come the setting of the sun  
and the droning of a fly    
I stand to mourn in silence    
now my undershorts have died    
  
It was on a trip to Walmart    
with gravity defied    
what started as a normal jaunt    
began slipping to one side    
  
In the wilds of frozen food    
I gave my cheeks a tweak    
but nothing could revive    
tired elastic past its peak    
  
I staggered to the checkout    
bulging at the thighs    
thinking too much titillation    
might have caused their sad demise    
  
The journey home was painful    
each step an anxious slide    
but I did my best to hide    
that my undershorts had died    
  
Yes, my undershorts have died
and I've buried them at sea
but with them now departed
it's much easier to pee