Worried

Now that it is the time to be,
Or not to be.
Or that it is the time to decide,
Or leave things shattered.
Now that it’s time to paddle
Against the wave, and the big sea
Or that I sink to join the wrecks
Nothing seems to change me,
I am the solid man, I never change.
For that I have been is just illusions
Fading away to uncover the dirt
Nothing seems right, for I,
Who am I after all?
Sad? Happy? Does it count,
When I am that I could not escape?
Or that I am, I should say, is sanity and sinfulness.